Always Good

I watch the slow breaths of my little girl as she sleeps, troubled, coughing, on her heart covered bed.  Resting on love, even in pain.  The stripes of her rainbow cotton dress rise and fall as she dances through the land of dreams.  Today marked the fifth day of her temperature climbing to 104 and beyond.  Tomorrow means more doctor visits and tests.  I don't know which is worse, the parent or the child hurt.


How can this be good?  Seeing a little one so changed by sickness.  Energy and joy drained, crying, hurting. . .  But I know this will pass, the infection will come and go, antibiotics will do their work and restore health to my sweet one again. 


What about the ones who suffer with no hope of healing?  The stage 4 cancer, the Parkinson's diagnosis, AIDS in Africa. . .

I am brought back to the quiet Wednesday night prayer meeting, where the small group of 30 or so meets just to talk with the Savior.  The tall lady with dark hair stands to pray and praise, "Lord I am thankful for cancer," you can almost feel the whispered gasp rise in the air.  She continues with emotion as she prays with upturned face, "I am thankful for cancer because without it my father would never have known You.  If he had died suddenly, he never would have had the time to think about eternity.  Thank you Lord, for giving him cancer so that You could give him salvation."  Collective sighs and tear misted eyes fill the room.


He knows our pain and He knows the joy that will come out of that pain.  And maybe dying isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person if it secures their eternity.  And maybe He knows how it feels to walk the road of affliction.  And maybe He put that promise in His Word to encourage us and help us through our afflictions and teach us to fully trust Him. . .


       "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love
         God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
                                                                           Romans 8:28


       "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering
        produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character
        produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love
        has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has
        been given to us."                                  Romans 5:3-5  (ESV)


God is always good and even in trouble, even in pain, even in sickness, even in death He works it 'for my good and for His glory.'  
(This old song comes to mind.)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ud_g_tWHplA&feature=player_detailpage



FOR MY GOOD AND FOR HIS GLORY recorded by The Hayes Family
Written by Rebecca J. Peck
(c) Copyright Thomas Peck Music (BMI)
VERSE I
I MUST ADMIT
THAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND
WHY GOD WOULD LET ME FACE
THIS PAINFUL CIRCUMSTANCE.
ALL I HAVE TO CLING TO IS HIS WORD AND HIS NAME,
BUT THAT’S ENOUGH,
SO I WILL TRUST.

CHORUS
IT’S FOR MY GOOD AND FOR HIS GLORY.
THIS TRIAL’S NOT THE END OF THE STORY.
THERE’S A BIGGER PICTURE GOD ALONE CAN SEE.
FAITH WILL TAKE ME THROUGH THIS SORROW,
FOR I KNOW HE HOLDS TOMORROW,
AND HE ASSURES ME
IT’S FOR MY GOOD AND FOR HIS GLORY.

VERSE II
BECAUSE I LOVE THE LORD,
HE’S PROMISED ME
HE’LL WORK ALL THINGS FOR GOOD,
AND THROUGH MY TEARS I BELIEVE
THAT HIS WAYS ARE HIGHER THAN ANY OF MY OWN.
THOUGH MY HEART ACHES,
HE MAKES NO MISTAKES.
BRIDGE
THOUGH I WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN
THE SUFF’RING THAT HAS COME.
I’M WILLING NOW TO SAY,
“LORD, NOT MY WILL BUT YOURS BE DONE.”


Thankful for. . .
200.  Suffering that produces endurance. . .character. . . hope
201.  Medicine you can get right off the shelves  (not so easy around the world)
202.  Sweet snuggles from my only girl
203.  Movies on the couch together
204.  Safety in the storm  (Irene)
205.  A willing husband who helps our neighbors
206.  A doctor who calls to check in on us
207.  Bringing Christ glory. . . it all goes to Him!
208.  Electricity and small doses of none (to make us thankful)
209.  Warm chili on stormy days

  
                                         

Great Day!

Today marked the first day of our homeschooling year for 2011-2012.  I was a bit nervous, didn't feel completely prepared, and wondering how the children might respond to a few changes, but I am glad to say it was a great day!  Our God is so good!  He knows our weaknesses and worries, He knows the little fears that nag us and the anxieties the come, but He can calm them all - He is our Prince of Peace.  All glory goes to Him for giving His supernatural peace, strength, and love to this little family today as we embarked on our educational endeavors.


Things are a little different this year.  We have joined a local Classical Conversations community and are looking forward to our first meeting with them, so this changed our curriculum choices.  We used Bob Jones curriculum for the most part last year and the children seemed to enjoy it and learn quite a bit, and we did decide to use their reading curriculum for our second grader, Grace again this year.  Isaac, in first grade will use ABeka reading, for a stronger phonics base.  We have chosen Saxon math (which I already love) and A Reason for Handwriting and Spelling.  For science I am reading from Apologia's Exploring Creation with Anatomy and Physiology and having the children narrate from that.  History includes timeline cards and an American History textbook for narration as well.  I made some homemade geography notebooks for the kids, which are very simple regional maps of the United States.   Art appreciation will come from library books this year and they are taking a music class to learn simple music theory.  I am so excited about the changes we have made this year and can't wait to see how the children will grow and learn.


I have to say my favorite part of the day is how we begin our mornings.  Last year we had a Bible curriculum that we followed, but it felt too much 'like work' having a workbook for Bible time.  So, this morning we met on the couch in the schoolroom and prayed together, then we read a short children's devotion.  Then each child took a Bible (or Bible storybook) and a notebook, and they found a quiet place by themselves to talk to God.  They could read the Bible, pray, write a letter to God, or write down a list of prayer requests.  I played some soft hymns with harp music on the CD player and set a timer, so they knew when to come back to the schoolroom.  They loved it!  Isaac curled up on the couch, Grace found a corner chair in the dining room, and little Sammy looked at his Bible about half the time and then joined me in the study, so I could read it to him.  I was able to start the day in quiet peace reading on my own and praying (until Sammy joined me) and it was so refreshing!  I must say the most surprising part was when we came back to talk about what we learned about God and the children started confessing sin and saying how they wanted to do better for God.  They were sorry for being selfish and mean and wanted to be nice and share to make God happy.  What joy!  I only hope our T.A.G. (Time Alone with God) time will be as fruitful and peaceful as it was today.  Praise be to God!

I am so thankful today for. . .
190.   His presence, us drawing near
191.   candlelight and math
192.   quiet times
193.   focus and direction
194.   freshly sharpened pencils
195.   turning back brand new pages
196.   excited eyes
197.   husband leadership
198.   magnet calendars
199.   they didn't forget everything  :)

Forgive as He has forgiven

Forgiveness comes hard when the wounds cut deep. 

When you are the one who has been hit, when you are the one who has been
demeaned, belittled. . .

When the biting lies are about you, and the character you've worked so hard
to build up is crushed with the careless words of a few. . .

When anger and rage are pointed at you, laced with screaming words. . .
When you are called names and treated unfairly with malice and hate. . .

When it is you who are the victim. . . what do you do?


What did He do?

After lashings and screamings, after being spit upon and hated, after this. . .
He stretches out His arms on a wooden cross. . .
He says, "I love you this much". . .


He forgives.

He begs the Father to forgive.

He gives His very life for us. . . the angry, screaming, sinning ones.
He loves where we have hated, He heals where we have hurt, He forgives where we have held bitterness. 


So, when He asks us to turn the other cheek (even when little brother has just hit us), He is not asking us to do anything He did not do. 

When He asks us to walk with the Roman solider 2 miles instead of just one, it is because He walked that mile first.  He has loved and given and poured out all, never despising the road, but walking it with joy.

And when He asks us to forgive, it is only because He has forgiven all already.

Because of His example and gift of salvation, we have the power in His Spirit to forgive anyone and anything.  It's the least we can do for the One who gave all.

Covering

I love how refreshing it is to attend church and have your eyes opened to the mystery of His Word.
I believe the Father has hidden so many lessons in His revealed Word and He is just watching and waiting for us to discover them.  He wants us to know Him in a very real and deep way, so His purposeful phrasing or stories told, reveal His ways.  Only by studying, meditating, and praying can we discover His beautiful mysteries and unravel the tapestry of His story.


                            "Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made
                                     tunics of skin and clothed them."
                                                                         -Genesis 3:21

I have probably read this verse 50 times and thought nothing about it.  If I did ponder the message I may have thought, "How nice, God made them some clothes to wear from some poor animal."  Nothing too deep.  But God is intentional, He has a reason for doing things in His will and in His way. 

First, our God is a God of compassion.  Because of the fall of man into the world of sin and death they knew. . . they knew good and evil. . . and they knew they were naked.  Holy innocence lost, shame and embarrassment enter.  Mercifully, he provides clothing for the hiding, crying humanity.


Then one ponders, that God Himself caused the first deaths on earth.  The man and woman should have been the first to die, after all wasn't the punishment for eating of the tree death.  The price of disobedience was the loss of life.  But God the ever merciful one, chose life before death.  He allowed them to live for the moment, but their eventual death was sure.  Instead He picks one of the creatures to die to cover the sinning ones. 


An animal is chosen.  One of the creatures who gently walked up to Adam in the garden.  He stood there confident and trusting, allowing the man to stroke his hair, to admire the beauty of one creeping on the earth.  Then Adam gives him a name. . . a definition. . . an identity.  And the animal roams the garden still trusting in man's authority and care for the creatures.


Adam remembers the day he named this one.  How he had admired its deep eyes, his powerful muscles, and strong legs.  How he had known he was to care for these animals, to keep them in peace,  but now all had changed.  Now Adam watches as the Lord himself takes his beautiful creation aside and takes its breath from it.  Then God uses the skin meant for protection and warmth and beauty and fashions a garment for the man.  Peace is lost.  Trust is gone.  The sacrifice made for sinning man.


Now Adam bears the skin as an emblem of sacrifice.  Something once loved slaughtered on his behalf.  The blood spilt to cover his shame.


This reminds me of someone.  Someone who sacrificed His very life, gave His very blood, so that I, a sinner would be made clean, covered by grace.  His blood was spilt to cover my shame.  He had to die, so that I could be reconciled to the Father. 


Isn't it amazing how the beginning of the story and the redeeming of the story all began in the mind of God?  He knew the ultimate sacricfice would have to made for man and that the sacrifice would be His beloved Son.  That is why He shows us throughout Scripture in a tangible way, what sacrifice really is.  We see it in the garden, we see it in Isaac, in the Passover Lamb, temple offering. . .life given to cover the sins of man.  All this preparing us for the greatest sacrifice of all time.



I am thankful today for. . .
180.   the covering of His grace
182.   mysteries revealed
183.   smiling, wet, grass covered kids
184.   little arms that wrap around your neck for welcome home hugs
185.   getaways with my sweet husband
186.   dinner by the water
187.   holding hands
188.   sweet grandparents caring for little ones
189.   surprise gifts

VBS

"Did Jesus really die?"  The brown eyed girl asks as she looks up into my face at Vacation Bible School.  

"Yes, He did."  I tell her. "He had to die on the cross to pay for our sins." 

"Did it hurt?"  she asks.

Wow. . . I think, did it hurt?  How can I explain that His pain was more than anyone in the world has ever endured.  Did it hurt as they drove the nails and whipped the flesh and pressed the thorns on tender brow?  Did it hurt when friends betrayed and disciples lied and mother cried?  Did it hurt as God turned and Father forsook Son?  Oh, it hurt. . . more than we could ever know or imagine.

I tell her simply of the nails and the thorns.  I tell her of the cross as she looks at me with wide eyes. 
I tell her that He died for her.

"But that's not all,"  I whisper, "three days later He rose from the dead.  He is alive again and now He lives in heaven."

We have hope because He lives!  He has defeated death and hell!  Praise Him!
But the cross came before the crown, the pain before the praise, death before life.

"You can believe on Him and be saved," I say.

Her heart is not quite ready to open and let Him in.  But now she knows.  She knows of the love of a Savior who loved her enough to die for her.  She knows, and the seed of that knowledge I pray will grow into the fruit of salvation in her life.  I pray one day she will give Him her life, because He already gave His life for her.


Thankful for . . .
170.  Vacation Bible School
171.  Fun songs to praise Him
172.  Meeting new little ones who already want to hold your hand and sit on your lap
173.  Making crafts and memories
174.  Sign language
175.  Message giving joy
176.  Sweet tea for a wake me up in the morning
177.  The smell of new tennis shoes
178.  Faith stories

"A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones."
                                                                             Proverbs 17:22


Dry bones hung around here today.  Summer boredom can creep up on me when I least expect it and change my attitude around in a matter of seconds.  I have learned too often in my life that sin breeds sin and love breeds love.  When I allow the smallest sin in my life it leads to another sin that's just a bit bigger and another bigger still until my heart and attitude and actions are sorrowfully sin'full.' 


The creeping blackness of sin usually enters my mind first, a wrong thought, a feeling of self-pity, impatience with little ones.  This is how the enemy works.  It's how he tricked Eve.  He planted a small seed of thought in her mind.  "Did God really say?"  Can He really be trusted?  That seed of doubt led to a choice that led to an action that brought on the sin of the world. 

How careful we must be with our thoughts!  The mind is very powerful and leads us to works of good or evil.  If the mind can be discplined to take captive thoughts that will lead us to harm and focus only on what is profitable for good then we can be pleasing to the Father. 

Tonight, my focus changed simply because I made up my mind to turn from ruin to joy.  My only hope is that I can be disciplined enough to do it tomorrow when life goes crazy again and frustrations come and little ones cling.  I can choose joy because I choose Him.  He is good for my heart.